I later learned that she also wanted a few more moments alone with R.J. before they closed the casket.Recalling the sheer volume of people at the visitation, and knowing the church was not that large, Lisa and I decided to arrive early. I stopped at Starbucks to get coffee for both of us.I placed my order and paused to run my hand over my face, trying to stave off the overwhelming fatigue. The barista noticed and chuckled. “Gotta get you your coffee, man,” he said. “You look exhausted.”I nodded. “R.J. Garrett is my girlfriend’s brother. It’s been a long few days.”At this, a woman behind the counter jumped in front of the barista as I handed him my credit card. She gently pushed the card away. “Then your money is no good here today,” she informed me quietly. As well, where I had ordered grande drinks for both of us, the drinks she handed to me were both venti-sized.We arrived at the church, made our way inside, marked our seats with a hymnal and the program, and then stepped outside to. ‘Ok everything seems fine I would say you are two weeks pregnant Miss Shaw.’ ‘Exactly two weeks?’ ‘Well it’s hard to be exact but no more than two weeks.’ I leave the doctor’s surgery feeling sicker than when I went in, I can’t believe the mess I have gotten myself into I mean I was on the pill for god’s sake, I know it’s not 100 % effective but near enough. How am I going to tell Tom or Paul or oh god my mother? And then I think of something else, am I really ready to have a child? I go home and cry and cry and then I cry some more I don’t know what I am going to do or what my future holds, I need to talk to Tom and Paul but I don’t know what to say. There’s a knock at the door and my heart jumps, I ignore it I can’t face anyone right now but the knocking continues and I dry my eyes. ‘Steph are you in there?’ It’s Paul, nervously I approach the door and let him in. He flings his arms around me hugging me tight. ‘Oh Steph your home I’ve missed you so much.’ ‘I’ve missed you too Paul.
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